


The Great Garlic Deception (Original Work)

by SarahLannister



Category: Based on a Food Prompt, College Creative Writing Exercise, Original Work, Silly Drabble - Fandom
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Based on Food Prompt, Creative Writing Exercise For College, Fun Drabble, Gen, Humor, Mischief, Originally Posted On My Personal Student Blog, Rumor, Silly Take on Vampire Lore, Vampires, Vampires with A Sense of Humor, little white lie - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 18:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16068479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahLannister/pseuds/SarahLannister
Summary: Three mischief-minded vampires decide to spread a most delicious rumor...(Small original one shot humorous drabble written for my college Creative Writing class to meet a "write something in under an hour based on a prompt you've chosen from the list + your own imagination"brief. Was a fun one!)





	The Great Garlic Deception (Original Work)

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes:  
> Ahoy-hoy! Look sharp, there be vampires about!  
> This was a most persistent plot bunny that simply wouldn't not stand to be ignored and so, whilst tasked with writing for an hour slot during my Creative Writing module for my college course, this little slice of silliness emerged. I enjoy subverting conventional lore anyways when it comes to writing about supernatural beings both in the fandom sense and in terms of writing my own original work so I figured this little piece would go down well on AO3.
> 
> Might elaborate/expand on this idea and the characters involved at some point in the future as I have plans to someday complete my own take on a supernatural creature-themed comedy novel but for now, please enjoy the strange places my brain goes to when forced to come up with a basic idea for a story on a time limit using only "Food" and an urge to write something with vampires as the driving force!
> 
> -Chubbs

**Prompt source for this exercise are as followed:**  <https://thinkwritten.com/365-creative-writing-prompts/>

 **Theme I went with:**  “ **Food”**   _(from 365 Creative Prompts along with being in the mood to write something funny with vampires)_

**The Great Garlic Deception**

By McChubbin

_( **First written September 20th, 2018, In Class Exercise)**_

* * *

_It is a well known fact that Rome is a city of rich ancient history and numerous secrets. Not all of these secrets are very well kept. The existence of the Vampire High Council, for example, has always been a bone of contention with the human populace over the years but not for the reasons you might expect._

_No, the Vampire High Council take an entirely more impish and whimsical view when it comes to addressing matters pertaining to traditional lore about their kind…_

* * *

_“Garlic!”_  Salvador had cried with childlike exuberance during a spirited gathering one dusky August evening; “Those silly humans believe such a delightful vegetable can ward away our kind or kill us if we ingest it!”

Sebastian, a younger elder by no less than 200 years shook his skeletal head in amusement and rolled his blood-red eyes.

“God, I love humans. So naive and wet behind the ears.”

“Yes, yes! Have you heard, Seb?! The humans are buying up garlic by the crate-load despite the extortionate costs and all but  _throwing_  the stuff at us in a bid to ward us away! Oh, what delightful fools they are!” Salavdor replied as he rubbed his thin, bony fingers together and grinned broadly across the communal dining table.

“Garlic, you say?” Elder Cristiano ventured, his blue eyes full of intrigue; “That’s a very specific item of rarity in these parts, Salvador.” he arched an eyebrow and speared a sauce-covered meatball on his fork, chewing slowly before he added; “Delicious stuff if you can get it…”

“I _know_ , right?!” Salvador bounced in his seat like a giddy schoolboy, his hands almost knocking over his plate of pasta as he gesticulated wildly; “God, think of the possibilities of what we could do with this new information!”

“I’m listening.” Cristiano said, regarding the slightly younger vampire in his charge with a cool, calm expression.

Salvador let a breath rasp out of his throat as an squeal of excitement before he leaned right across the fine marble table and practically leapt out of his seat.

“How about we spread a rumor! A delightful,  _delicious_  rumor that will have us set up with garlic supplies for the rest of our unnatural lives?!”

Sebastian and Cristiano exchanged a dubious glance before turning once more to Salvador and giving a cautiously approving nod.

“Say your piece.” Cristiano offered as he set down his fork and steepled his fingers.

“Okay, so get this!” the more enthusiastic vampire began; “we spread a little white lie by saying that garlic- sweet, delectable, spicy garlic- is so bad for us that it is literal  _poison_  against our kind. The humans will lap it up as they are so gullible and we, my good brethren, will be eating like kings for months!”

Sebastian smiled, showing a mouthful of pearly white teeth with sharpened canines that glinted in the candlelight. “You are an absolute lunatic, Salvador, but I love the way you think sometimes.”

Cristiano nodded and resumed eating his food.

“So we agree? We feed the humans a little false information for our own nefarious gains? I must say, this whole ruse is simple yet genius. Never thought you had such devious thoughts within you, Salvador..”

“Well, as my last big meal once quipped before I nibbled on his jugular:  _‘I may be half dead but God loves a tryer!’_ ” Salvador replied with his own grin plastered across his palid face before he sat back once more in the ornate wooden chair and began to spool spaghetti around his fork.

“What else can we get the humans to fall for, I wonder?” Sebastian mused as he took a sip from the chalice of blood at his left; “That we all sleep in coffins and find silver burns us to a crisp?”

Cristiano shrugged and chewed on a meatball.

“Think the silver thing is werewolves, Seb…but still, I do so enjoy these impromptu brainstorming sessions over dinner.” He held his own chalice aloft and toasted the two other vampires in the room; “To the ever endearing gullibility of humans!”

Salvador nodded and mimicked the action.

“ _To garlic!_ ”

Sebastian chuckled.

“And to mischief of the most devilish kind!”

The three vampires clinked their blood chalices and took hearty mouthfuls, peels of good natured laughter echoing through the cold stone walls of the stately manor they called home.

* * *

 

_And so, on a seemingly uneventful evening over plates of pasta, good ‘wine’ and merry company, three vampire elders inadvertently started one of the most enduring myths surrounding their kind…_

**Author's Note:**

> Please don’t be a dick and respect that this is my own original work by not redistributing, editing or otherwise altering it without my permission. If you want to share it or ask me about that notion, please feel free to ask me nicely. I’m quite open about it if you’re kind enough to be civil. This work is by the author known as McChubbin and has been reproduced from her personal student blog/portfolio by her own merits. Please respect her intellectual property rights.


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